On Tuesday, I will be an old fart. Wait. Did I just say that? I yell at My husband for calling me that. I will be THIRTY! Years!
It’s not as scary as I thought. Granted, I’m not thirty yet! But I’m not dreading it as much as I thought I would. It helps that Dee is just heaping the compliments! Whispers sweet nothings in my ear…
Like tonight. Not sweet nothings really, but sweet nothings Dee style! He popped in from mowing the lawn and asked me to finish making his tea. Said if it needed to be warmed up at all, I could just stick my finger in the tea and stir it around. He’s really good at sweet, cheesy, adorable lines! He’s also a punk. Told me I had to have ice cream cake, because thirty candles will burn down the house otherwise.
I started a list of things I wanted to learn and accomplish this year. Things like make my own yogurt, keep the pantry full of homemade bread and granola (instead of hit and miss), plant a garden, have a baby, learn more about essential oils, tour Europe. (Oops! That was pulled from my fantasy list.) I scratched the list. For the same reason I never make new year’s resolutions. I don’t want my life to be ordered by a list!
Right now, I’m still being convicted about love. About not yelling at my kids, or lashing out in anger, or speaking with anything but gentleness and compassion. I tell my children to love each other, and glare at them while I’m speaking. If I can’t make yogurt AND love my kids in the process, I’m not worth squat! It would be better if I drowned. (Personal interpretation of scriptures.) Love is, in fact, a debt Jesus asked me to owe.
I’m still going to try to do it all! Work hard, learn new things, and love my kids and husband in the process. It can be done, because God gives the ability. But I’m going to flop! I’ll write about my flops, but not only about floppy failure. About God’s grace too! Because the longer I’m a mom, and a wife, and well… just a human being… the more I realize how much LIFE is about messing up. And then accepting God’s mercy and grace, and letting my failures change me into a person more like Jesus. My screw-ups can showcase His glory!
So again, for me, it all boils down to love. Yeah, I’ll be baking bread. But I’m going to color with crayons too, and play Uno, and take more walks with my kids, and listen to their stories and secrets, and bounce on the trampoline, and get a PUPPY!