I am queen every day around here!


So, I got nothing.  Yesterday, I mean — for Mother’s Day.  I mean, I got nothing I can wear on my neck or stuff in a drawer somewhere.  No words written down, to read for years down the road.  No flowers.. or trees!  No chocolate.

I have to admit I was a little miffed when I woke up and realized that nobody remembered it was Mother’s Day.  Dee didn’t wish me a happy Mother’s Day until I asked him if he’d wished his mom a happy Mother’s Day, and the kids didn’t even know Mother’s Day existed.

I waited all day to see if at least a card would pop up somewhere, but no.  I cried after Dee went to bed, while I finished cleaning up the kitchen, but even in the midst of my disappointment I knew I was being foolish.  Really, truly.

(All day, actually, that thought was tickling the back of my mind, the Holy Spirit trying to make me see…)

Earlier in the day, that morning, I realized that Dee got up with the kids and let me sleep in (Kbug threw up in the middle of the night, so no church), fed and dressed the kids, and brewed me coffee all without realizing that it was Mother’s Day!  Because that’s the kind of man he is.  He always lets me sleep in on the weekends, if his schedule allows, and he always makes me coffee when I wake up.  And fixes it for me, because he knows how much cream and sugar I like.  And he burns the trash and mows the grass with the kids, and he spends hours in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes from his birthday party on Friday.  And he takes us all to the mall and stops at Starbucks on the way home, even though it’s not Happy Hour yet.  And he makes a fire outside and cooks pancakes outdoors.  And he gives the kids baths and tucks them in bed.  And he rubs my feet, and my back, because he knows I’m aching.

He did all this on Mother’s Day, but the day was only coincidence.  He does stuff like this every day!

So I ask myself, Would I rather have a card and special treatment one measly day out of the year?  Over THIS?  This everyday loving?

I think it’s silly of us wives to put such a huge expectation on our men to “perform” one day out of the year, with huge risk of failure.  And I think it’s stupid of us to not notice the little, huge lovings our men heap on us all year long.

(Not saying I wouldn’t love something next Mother’s Day!  Me and Dee, we might yet have a nice, calm chat about that.)

So I wiped the tears away and crawled in bed with my warm man.  Content.  I’m disappointed in myself now, for having moments during that day when I treated him unkindly because I was still miffed.  Sigh… the things he puts up with!  I love this everyday lover of mine.

(And maybe there’s some after-Mother’s-Day-chocolate on sale somewhere?  I can always treat myself!)


About patchofheaven

"Mom" sums it up quite well! I cook, I clean, I homeschool, and yes, I do still ride a tricycle. I love to read books to my kids, and every once in a while I manage to read a book "all by my big self." I journal about my life, here at patchofheaven; hoping to remember, grow, love more, and entertain my mom and other readers!

15 responses »

  1. Similar experience here… Why do we let the culture dictate our happiness when we have been given such blessings at home?

    • Stupid culture. =) I hate it now more than ever, since I have impressionable kids! (Actually, before I became a mother, I don’t think I realized how our culture affects us!)

  2. Beautiful, Ruth! You are right! You are so very blessed! And so are a lot of the rest of us!

    My husband took care of some very tired and grumpy boys for me — dealt with a lot of discipline issues so I could visit with my mom and grandma on Mother’s Day. Simple. Yes. Not too exciting. Yet, it’s these acts of kindness that cause our hearts to warm and to remember that we are blessed every day of the year — not just one. 🙂

    • But isn’t it easy to forget how blessed we are?! I think by God’s grace I’m remembering more and more every day what’s really important. Little blessings often go unnoticed, I think, unless we train ourselves to find them.

      Sounds like you had a nice, relaxing Mother’s Day with your family! I love simple. Un-exciting is sooooo nice sometimes. =) I do miss not hanging out with my mom for Mother’s Day!

  3. You said it very well!!

    Although, I did get a present – on the way home from the field day we stopped at a yard sale and bought a Longaberger basket – large and worth at least $119 on eBay – for $35!!! So, later that night, when my hubby remembered that the next day was Mother’s Day, that ended up being my Mother’s Day present. Suits me fine.

    And yes, I agree – I’d rather have my always considerate and always loving husband than lots of THINGS.

    • What a find! Nice! My husband will often buy something practical/useful for special occasions (like Mother’s Day), and I love that. Last year he bought me several crabapple trees!

  4. Thanks for sharing! I think it’s little episodes like this that can sow seeds of doubt…Does he really love me? Does anyone appreciate me?…when in reality, no one meant to hurt us. And what we do with those hurt feelings can have big consequences. Thank goodness for the Holy Spirit!

    • Amen! And I found out tonight that Dee meant to stop on his way home from work on Friday to get a card, but then things got all crazy and he ran out of time. He usually *always* gets me a card — AND writes in it — because he knows how important words are to me. I don’t usually care about presents as long as there are sweet words to savor. =)

      (And so, after we talked tonight, I was so glad I hadn’t blown up or anything on Mother’s Day!)

  5. I have SO been there! It is wise of you to realize even in the midst of it how blessed you are! Do you know the Rascal Flatts song Everyday Love? It’s one of my favorites!

    • Oaky, I’m totally drawing a blank! I KNOW I’ve heard that song, because Rascal Flatts is a favorite in our house… but those words just aren’t popping into my head. Gonna have to go YouTubing!

  6. Oh well said, well said! You made me jealous, even though I’m married to the most wonderful man in the world (like you!)… what a wonderful realization, and you said it all and described it so well. I love you!

  7. Oh, your husband sounds so wonderful! My husband and I BOTH forgot our anniversary last year. Luckily, my mom called to remind me!

    Maybe I should share my Mother’s Day gifts–I got a plethora. Would you like the meat thermometer, workout video, or the otter pops?

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