It’s been a rough 36 hours. Yesterday, all day, was one of those days where I just wanted to lock myself in my room and have a good cry. But I didn’t have time. (So I did that this morning!)
Rough list to my rough day…
One of my boys lied to me all day long.
The other boy destroyed and disobeyed all day long. This little dude fell off the lawn mower after he climbed up to fill it with gasoline. He also took a knife (a SHARP one!) from the barn and mutilated one of Grammy’s apple trees. Stabbed it all over and peeled off huge chunks of bark. He took Dee’s drill, a few saw blades and a flashlight outside to dig in the dirt.
Ripped a book, smashed a frog, flooded the basement with poopy toilet water (*sigh*… that one wasn’t on purpose), and then you know how when you’re already frustrated EVERYTHING is upsetting? Yes. Good. Glad I’m not the only one. So, I also had school to do, flowers and veggies to plant, a huge bowl of strawberries to wash and cut and throw in the freezer with some sugar, and of course the never-ending laundry and dishes.
Then my husband came home and went on and on about this new TIG welder he’d been admiring at Dressel’s Welding. That’s when I cried. Just one of those camel-back straw things! The welder is $25000, so “not right now, maybe one day” Dee said. And I retorted, “Or, maybe one day we could spend $2500 on a road trip or plane tickets?” (Yeah, I was being testy.) “Um… but tools last forever!” he said. That’s when I cried again.
And my testiness (can I blame it on pregnancy hormones?) and moodiness didn’t make him swoon with affection and sensitivity. Nope. He didn’t say “I love you” when he left this morning. He ALWAYS says “I love you.”
And I was really hoping my day with kiddos would be easier this morning, but NOPE again. My boys woke up at 6:30, with pee-soaked sheets. More laundry. While I was drinking my coffee, the destruct-O boy went outside and dumped my entire container of fertilizer in the fire pit. There’s also been name-calling, rose-smashing, and more lying to deal with. You know, nothing major.
It’s been one of those days where I just WANT MY MOM! Or my sisters. I wanted them to stop in for coffee, and just listen, and tell me it’s going to be okay, and this too shall pass, and I’m a good mom, and my kids aren’t really such bad kids, and then, after telling me all that, maybe take the kids away for a few hours.
Oh, and tell me that Dee and I will work everything out too.
You know that verse “Love covers a multitude of sins?” It’s been running through my head. Not just today. It’s such a great marriage and mommying verse! It’s so easy to hang on to hurt. TOO easy! Nursing resentments and crushed feeling… I totally know how. But LOVE just covers each others’ sins right up. Sins little AND big. That verse doesn’t have a catch phrase.
(I’m not saying sin should be ignored, and never confronted. Not at all. There are times for that, and for just discussing hurt feelings. I’m saying that husbands and wives, and parents and children don’t need to attack each other over every injustice!)
The other week I was nursing hurt feelings over something fairly large, but my husband had asked my forgiveness, and it was my choice that I was still hurt. So I finally just let it go. I rolled over in bed one night and planted a kiss on Dee’s head, and life was sweet again.
Dee’s got this “love just covers it up” trick down WAY better than I do. (Maybe because he’s had more practice?) He’s always loving me even when I’m snappy and bratty. He just pushes the sludge away and loves the soul inside me. I don’t know exactly where my hurt feelings originated this time, but I’m convinced that tonight, when Dee walks in the door, I just need to let the hurt slide away and cover that man with kisses. My kids too, they need this love-covering! And me. Sinful old me. I need this covering, maybe more than anyone else.