Rotten attitudes are worse than rotten days (although I HATE to admit that)!

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It’s been a rough 36 hours.  Yesterday, all day, was one of those days where I just wanted to lock myself in my room and have a good cry.  But I didn’t have time.  (So I did that this morning!)

Rough list to my rough day…

One of my boys lied to me all day long. 

The other boy destroyed and disobeyed all day long.  This little dude fell off the lawn mower after he climbed up to fill it with gasoline.  He also took a knife (a SHARP one!) from the barn and mutilated one of Grammy’s apple trees.  Stabbed it all over and peeled off huge chunks of bark.  He took Dee’s drill, a few saw blades and a flashlight outside to dig in the dirt.

Ripped a book, smashed a frog, flooded the basement with poopy toilet water (*sigh*… that one wasn’t on purpose), and then you know how when you’re already frustrated EVERYTHING is upsetting?  Yes.  Good.  Glad I’m not the only one.  So, I also had school to do, flowers and veggies to plant, a huge bowl of strawberries to wash and cut and throw in the freezer with some sugar, and of course the never-ending laundry and dishes.

Then my husband came home and went on and on about this new TIG welder he’d been admiring at Dressel’s Welding.  That’s when I cried.  Just one of those camel-back straw things!  The welder is $25000, so “not right now, maybe one day” Dee said.  And I retorted, “Or, maybe one day we could spend $2500 on a road trip or plane tickets?”  (Yeah, I was being testy.)  “Um… but tools last forever!” he said.  That’s when I cried again.

And my testiness (can I blame it on pregnancy hormones?) and moodiness didn’t make him swoon with affection and sensitivity.  Nope.  He didn’t say “I love you” when he left this morning.  He ALWAYS says “I love you.”

And I was really hoping my day with kiddos would be easier this morning, but NOPE again.  My boys woke up at 6:30, with pee-soaked sheets.  More laundry.  While I was drinking my coffee, the destruct-O boy went outside and dumped my entire container of fertilizer in the fire pit.  There’s also been name-calling, rose-smashing, and more lying to deal with.  You know, nothing major.

It’s been one of those days where I just WANT MY MOM!  Or my sisters.  I wanted them to stop in for coffee, and just listen, and tell me it’s going to be okay, and this too shall pass, and I’m a good mom, and my kids aren’t really such bad kids, and then, after telling me all that, maybe take the kids away for a few hours.

Oh, and tell me that Dee and I will work everything out too.

You know that verse “Love covers a multitude of sins?”  It’s been running through my head.  Not just today.  It’s such a great marriage and mommying verse!  It’s so easy to hang on to hurt.  TOO easy!  Nursing resentments and crushed feeling… I totally know how.  But LOVE just covers each others’ sins right up.  Sins little AND big.  That verse doesn’t have a catch phrase.

(I’m not saying sin should be ignored, and never confronted.  Not at all.  There are times for that, and for just discussing hurt feelings.  I’m saying that husbands and wives, and parents and children don’t need to attack each other over every injustice!)

The other week I was nursing hurt feelings over something fairly large, but my husband had asked my forgiveness, and it was my choice that I was still hurt.  So I finally just let it go.  I rolled over in bed one night and planted a kiss on Dee’s head, and life was sweet again.

Dee’s got this “love just covers it up” trick down WAY better than I do.  (Maybe because he’s had more practice?)  He’s always loving me even when I’m snappy and bratty.  He just pushes the sludge away and loves the soul inside me.   I don’t know exactly where my hurt feelings originated this time, but I’m convinced that tonight, when Dee walks in the door, I just need to let the hurt slide away and cover that man with kisses.  My kids too, they need this love-covering!  And me.  Sinful old me.  I need this covering, maybe more than anyone else.

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About patchofheaven

"Mom" sums it up quite well! I cook, I clean, I homeschool, and yes, I do still ride a tricycle. I love to read books to my kids, and every once in a while I manage to read a book "all by my big self." I journal about my life, here at patchofheaven; hoping to remember, grow, love more, and entertain my mom and other readers!

11 responses »

  1. Thanks Ruth, for your honesty. I thought I was having a bad day – but when I read about yours (sorry, I just might have laughed, once or twice) I think my day wasn’t quite THAT bad!

    And such a good reminder to love. Ed expected home any moment. I’ll try the kiss thing too!
    Gina

  2. Ya, thanks Ruth, I thought I was having a bad day too until I read this. Hang in there! I always admire you! You are a fantastic mommy that I learn from and I wish I could come and take the kids away for awhile but ya a little too far away for that. But feel free to call me when you do need to let some steam off about the kids, it doesn’t offend me :o) I’ve been meaning to call but everytime I think of it I realize that it’s like 6pm your time. I’ll get it down one of these times. ~Hugs~ Trish

    • Trish, thanks for commenting! Yeah, I really do wish we lived closer. =( I’ve been wanting to talk to you too! And then I heard you’ve been super sick?! Wowzers. Glad you’re feeling better! Maybe we should call each other now. =) I couldn’t have talked to you yesterday without crying (or anyone, for that matter!), because I think you’re an AWESOME wife. I’ve always admired you for how you relate to Steve. And I felt like a really CRAPPY wife yesterday! Thanks for being a part of life, my other sister! Love you!

      • Oh I just got this response. We had neighborhood ladies bible study at my house this next day and its been busy since. Stevo and I celebrated our anniversary Saturday too cause I was so sick last weekend. We went to a hidden resteraunt that only locals know of, it was fun. Anyways, maybe Tuesday we can chat :o) Love you too!

  3. There must be something in the air!! Today has been rotten, and I too have been wishing for my mom and sisters! I actually thought about calling you…It sounds like we needed each other!

    I’ve been trying so hard lately to CHOOSE to have a good attitude…but today, I pretty sure I failed miserably!…

    Thank you for sharing your heart, and letting us hear your thoughts! You are such an encouragement to me…especially on the bad days. One day, when I have 4 going on 5 kids, I hope I’m even half as pulled together and forgiving as you are!

    But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:21-23)

  4. Ruth,

    Thanks for being so honest! See how all of us other moms were encouraged. I know it’s silly, but we all have those days. When we wonder if anyone else could possibly have kids that are acting as bad today or other moms who are feeling as grumpy as we are.

    I had a bad day with my kids the other day, then my poor husband came home with his crazy workload, I looked at our unfinished bathroom, looked at our plants waiting to be planted in our garden, and counted down the days ’til Baby arrives, and instead of encouraging my husband, tried to push him to do more — as if he has any more time for it. He too responded so sweetly to me, and I felt tears filling my eyes as I couldn’t help but thank him for being so good to me.

    This morning during devotions, I was reading about faith. It struck me how the people, God used to do great things, were not perfect. They all failed from time to time. They even doubted God right after major victories. Yet, God considered them his “faithful.” What is God looking for in us then? Just like our OT heroes of faith, I think he is looking for people who are humble enough to admit that they aren’t perfect and life isn’t perfect, people who are willing to allow God to lift them up from their face-plants in the dirt repeatedly, people who are learning that it is all about God. Boy, do I have a lot to learn in this area! I am so glad that God uses imperfect people because that means He can use me too and maybe even produce some hardy and beautiful and fruitful plants from all this dirt and weeding (my kids and in myself).

    Praying for you… We all love you and know you are a wonderful mom and wife! You are human, and somehow in revealing your humanness, we love you even more. It’s not that you or any of us like to focus on the “dirt” in our lives, but at times, it is helpful and encouraging to reveal that we aren’t perfect. I think that is when God truly gets the glory because everyone can then see that all the good that they do see is only a direct result of God’s working in our lives — not because of some special abilities that we have on our own.

    So, Ruth, you have given us all hope — that we can be “super-moms” and “super-wives” too by looking to the Lord. I have a feeling your day is going to be especially sweet today.

    Love you!
    Amy

  5. Hi!
    How nice to “meet” you. =) I am super happy I found your blog and will definitely be following along with your journey, and catching up on pasts posts as I get time. =)

    Oh sister. I so know those days. Way too well. But stick it out, cuz it’s so worth it and the kiddos will remember all the good things… all the love and care you gave them. At least, that’s what I tell myself. 😉

  6. Oh wow, I’ve had a few of those with my fiance when there is something nice he does regularly (hug goodbye, etc.) that he suddenly doesn’t do one day. Panic attack! And there usually IS something that I’ve done wrong. Of course if I’m feeling hormonal everything is that much more hurtful and tragic and I’m that much testier and snappier.

    Thanks for sharing about your struggles!

  7. I remember those days so well. Now I am blessed with 10 grandkids, but sometimes when my house is so quiet, I laugh at the memories of the contents of my purse in the toilet, all the eggs in the refrigerator cracked, a brand new box of cereal in the dogs bowl…lol! And yes, even as adults, I have to ask forgiveness and remember about unconditional love towards them at all times…you’re a great mom!
    Blessings on you!

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