A dead car, fears, and cornstalks

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Church this morning was cancelled — for us!  Our Suburban wouldn’t start.  Dead battery.  Can I admit that whoever killed the battery made my day?  Is that awful to say?  Dee and I were just murmuring (yes, like the Israelites) last night about how worn out we are, and how looooong of a drive to church it is, and how wouldn’t it be nice to stay home…

So here we sat!  We had our own Bible time with the kids, but we wore jeans and sweaters instead of tights and dresses.  So cozy!  And I curled up on the couch with a steaming cup of coffee, instead of sitting up straight in a pew, worrying about whether my kids were also sitting up straight.  Behaving and putting on a good show.  Ducks in a row.

I worry about what people think.  I struggle with appearances.

Yesterday, we had a work party to build a new woodshed.  Dee and the guys got most of it done!

The girls and I hung out indoors, and the kids ran in and out all day.  We had sixteen people crowded around our table for lunch!  Good thing we have a 17ft-long table.  We had six more people show up for supper.  It was so much fun!  Dee is usually always working on projects on Saturdays, but it’s rare that I have extra women to hang out with and gab while he’s working.   My sister-in-law made cookies, we drank coffee, and pretty much did nothing else but enjoy each others’ company.   (We did feed the men and children!)  I loved it!  It was crazy, and messy, and my house was packed full of noisy children and dirt and leaves tromped through on boots.  It made me happy!

But then everyone left, and the doubts crept in.  I replayed snippets of conversation in my mind, and thought, “Oh!  Maybe they meant ________?”  One friend doesn’t take a shower in her upstairs bathroom yet because her shower curtain doesn’t match the towels.  Well, my bathroom curtain has purple flowers, and the walls have turquoise paint, with green, purple, blue, and ducky towels.  Nothing matches.  (I am not a Martha Stewart type gal!)  After everyone left, I kept thinking, “Oh, did she mean the couch in my kitchen looks stupid?” and “She reads my blog when she feels overwhelmed.  Is that a BAD thing?”  Unfounded, these fears, because my friends meant only to encourage and enjoy me!

Today my husband pulled me onto his lap as I was folding laundry.  How could he tell there was an extra urgency to my labor?  He asked, “What’s wrong?”  I told him, and I told him I knew I was being silly, and, “Is my house really okay?”

So he reminded me.  Things that DON’T matter:  matching furniture, freshly painted walls, Play-Doh free carpet, un-toyed floors, that sort of silliness!  Things that DO matter:  happy children, a peaceful mom and wife, good food, and learning.  Dancing, sliding down the banister, Monopoly all spread out, books piled high…. these are good things.

Oh.  YES.  Peace again.

We worked hard at playing today!  We had promised the kids that we’d take them through the corn maze.  We drove to Advanced Auto to pick up a new car battery, then on to the corn patch!  We mostly had fun.  After we lost Cameron, Dee decided it was time to find our way back out and head home.

Megan was getting tired anyway.  No way could she have walked all 8 miles of dried cornstalk paths!  She wasn’t even wearing shoes.  We were wandering through the maze, hunting for hole punchers, when I noticed that Megan was running around in white socks.   On the dirt paths.  (Did I mention the socks were white?)  We weren’t breaking any rules though!  The sign just said, “No Bare Feet.”

She actually loves shoes, my Megan girl.  She didn’t get this obsession from her mother or big sister!  (We’re more of the barefoot freak type.)  She especially loves flip-flops.  Any size.

I’m going to have a messy, productive Monday!  Hope you all can join me!

P.S.  (We did find Cameron again, and bring him home with us.  In case you all were wondering.)

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3 responses »

  1. I agree with you! Sometimes church is so hard. It would be really easy to just take a break. The problem is that maybe I might never go back…so every week I drag myself and all the kids out of bed.
    Sandy

  2. It appears to me that you did have “church” but instead of going to it, it came to you! How nice to have friends and family enjoying your home and working together…that’s what it is REALLY all about, I think that’s how the disciples did it (LoL!).

    Love the zebra slippers (yeah, that’s what we call them in Hawaii) and giraffe print dress..and jeans, my kind of girl, covered all the bases!

    I know how it is playing that “what were they really thinking” tape over in your mind…how the dumb enemy likes to keep us on the defensive! You are doing an awesome job! Hugs to you and yours! Connie

  3. Loved this post Ruth! I struggle with people pleasing and appearances too. Living in a run down trailer for two and a half years has been very good for me:) It so helps when I remember that I really live life before an audience of One. It is so freeing. Hope to see you soon! We should be moving into our house in a couple of weeks and would love to have you guys down soon!

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