It’s almost midnight… My baby just now fell asleep. It’s better than last week’s 1:30am fall-asleep time! He rarely does this though, so I can forgive him. Quite easily, I might add, when he grins up at me in the morning and coos, “Mommy! I love you! You’re my favorite person.”
I love being a mother.
Sure, there are crappy days (some literally) when I feel like shipping all the kids off to boarding school. But in the very same moment, I want to scoop them up and hold them forever. What an exhausting job, this motherhood! Physically and emotionally, it rips us apart.
Even the crappy days are sweet to me. It’s real. It’s life. It’s fleeting, and could be torn away from me. So I will choose to treasure it! I will choose to bite my tongue when worn out, frustrated, angry words form. I will choose to speak peace in my home! Because hurtful words, they don’t accomplish anything. They leave unseen wounds to fester. I will choose to love. And when I fail? I will not give in to the doubts ready to speak untruth… “I am not a good enough mother.” No. My children and my God, they whisper to me of unconditional love, and I will choose to accept it! So I can whisper it back.
We have this game we play, my kids and I. We grin and say, “I have a secret!” And then lean in close and whisper, “Guess what? I love you!!!” It always ends in giggles, and hearts soothed again by love. It’s a favorite game, and one I doubt any of us will forget!