I’d really like to complain.
I’d like to say that my baby didn’t sleep well today, so I felt like we didn’t get in a good day of school. I’d like to say that Megan was unusually whiny, and Cameron screamed for me too.
I’d like to say that my big kids were at each other’s throats.
And one boy wet the bed. Again. And one boy got into the unfrozen popsicles. Again.
I cleaned up a bloody chin and bloody noses.
All that would be true, but really, I can’t complain.
My breath, it must be saved for breathing in the sweetness. I rock the baby and I lean down and feel his warm head, breathe it in.
I hold Megan, giggling, on my lap. She just wants me, that’s all. Up until two months ago, she was the baby I breathed in. So today I do it again, while we read a book about a cow who leaves her farm to live at the zoo. Her baby curls are still untouched, and I rest my head against the softness. (She has a tiny piece of gum stuck in her hair, so I’m sad to think that tomorrow will be her very first haircut!)
I play Candyland with my big kids, and put together a puzzle with them. A cool, glow-in-the-dark one. So we have to turn all the lights off, and we talk about how wouldn’t it be cool if our new basement carpet was all glow in the dark?
I let them wash my dishes.
I let them eat the noodles raw.
We bring a meal to a neighbor, a new mommy, and I let them walk and meet me there.
I watch them make shields out of cardboard boxes, and be superheros. Sure, they might whack each other too hard, but I think, and I pray, that they will always be superheros together in Life.
I sigh at the in-between boxes of baby clothes. Zach, he’s already stretching out his 3-6 months sleeper. And I don’t even have all the 0-3 months clothes out of his dresser. The bigger clothes, they sit in used diaper boxes on the floor in my room.
I was sad, the other night, about my babies growing up. My life is perfect right now! Dee, he told me, “Soak it up, every day.” I soak it up extra for him, since he leaves every morning and our babies are a whole day older when he comes home.
So today, I’d really like to complain. My overwhelmed, selfish side would love to do that. But my overflowing, mommy side is winning right now. I’m just breathing it all in, tucking the warm memories away for later.