I’m a “Hunger Games” fan. I devoured all three books, and ran to the theatre with the mobs to see Katniss on screen. (Don’t approve? That’s fine, just don’t try the, “But it’s about kids killing kids!” That line makes me mad.) My kids might be picking up on my obsession, because one kid in particular seems to be trying to impress me with his own survival skills.
Today at the park, he practiced camouflage art. Dirt smeared all over his face, and dirt rubbed in his hair… I would totally mistake him for a tree branch, if he was sleeping in a tree!
He took his shoes off and wandered the park barefoot. Better for gripping and running, I have to admit! Actually, all of my kids were barefoot, and their Daddy sat them on the stone wall and let them dangle their feet in the pond! They were so cute, all lined up and splashing, and I couldn’t help thinking, “I bet the other moms don’t allow this.” (Pride or guilt? Uhh… Maybe both.)
Cameron’s been honing his spray painting skills, on cabinets and the wood furnace, with Daddy’s black spray paint. (I have no idea how spray paint could be used to survive, but Cameron will figure out a way!)
He’s been practicing his spearing. With a tiki torch. Aimed at his siblings on the swings.
He can grab chickens out of locked pens.
But if the average diet disappears? He’ll be fine. He’ll just eat boogers off of tissues (his) and drink Capri Suns (not his) he pulls out of trash cans. (Trash cans at the park, where he also loves to find half-empty Taco Bell cups and stray candy.)
He’s very good at making do with raw eggs.
And toileting just about anywhere.
He loves to make secret fires, and he’s handy with a knife.
He can always find water! He even knows how to drink the liquid from elephant poop, so no worries about dehydration.
So really, if you ever feel desperate in today’s economy, or you’re hiding from a bunch of kids that yeah, are trying to kill you, then look up my son. He’d make a great ally!