Monthly Archives: May 2012

Friday Funnies

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“Poppers”

by Cory Hunsberger

Once upon a time, my friends were in the woods with me.  We found poppers on a rock, blue, rainbow, and green.   Then other friends came and they saw that we were finding poppers.  One popper was a star, and the star hit us on the head.   We fell down in the ocean, and then we got chopped in half by an ax in the ocean, and then a boat hit us and we died.  The bad guys that hit us with the boat pulled us up and ate us.  (First they cooked us on the stove!)

The End

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“The Turtles We Brought Home”

By Kirstyn Hunsberger

I went into the woods with my friends Rachel and Brianna.  We found some old turtle shells, and there was one that was bigger than all the rest.  We brought them home and fed them food and water to play that they were real.  The next morning, we came out and the biggest turtle was eating and drinking.  We screamed, “AHHHHH!” and ran and hid under our beds.  But then we said, “Wait!  That’s a real turtle!”  So we went back, but the turtle was back in its shell.  We said, “Oh, it must have been our imagination!”

The next morning, that big turtle shell was gone.  When we went to bed that night, we pulled back the covers and we saw the big turtle sleeping.  We screamed and hid in the cupboard!  Then we said, “Wait!  That’s a real turtle.”  So we went back to the bed but the turtle was gone.  So we went back to the cupboard, opened the doors to get a snack, and there was the big turtle — snacking on the snacks!  We screamed and ran back to hide in the bed and opened the covers and there was a turtle!  We screamed and ran back to the cupboard and there was a turtle!  We went back to the box where we had put all the turtle shells, and all the shells were gone.  It turns out, that all those shells were turtles!  The big one was the mother.

The End

Ramen Poodle, and lots of pee

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If any of you need urine bags to dump on your gardens, to scare away the wild animals, my son is working on a patented system.  The urine will be deposited into water balloons!  That way, you can order just a few tablespoons at a time, instead of having to order by the gallon.

The boys have also improved my laundry system.  They dump all the clean laundry out on the floor when they’re looking for a new pair of undies. (Peeing into water balloons has side-effects.)  That way, Mommy will just fold the laundry to cut back on handling!

What else made me laugh today?  Um, this disturbing image:

Normally, I encourage creativity in the kitchen.  I let my kids use all the pots and pans and spoons they want.  Yes, the ones we use for cooking and eating!  It drives Dee nuts, to find a trail of cookware and cutlery from the kitchen floor all the way out back to the dirt pile.  But I tell myself, “I’m growing Einsteins!”

Ramen Poodle soup though?  I may have to ban that menu item.  This poodle, by the way, is the “Big daddy dog” Megan mentioned.  See why I tried to convince her it really doesn’t look male?

I apologize, to all you guys out there trying to hang on to your tough guy image.  My daughter will shoot it down!

Yelly Mom with a big head

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I have been drop-dead exhausted recently. I know, I know — how entertaining is that?! But this is my Motherhood Chronicles. And right now, on the time-line, I’m TIRED! Dee and I sit down to watch a movie, and yep, you guessed it — I fall asleep! Without fail. Even if it’s a movie I asked him to pick up at Redbox!

The thought, “You could be pregnant…” crosses my mind, but then I laugh hysterically. (Also in my head, yes. I try very hard not to look like a dork!) I laughed the other week when Babycenter.com sent me an e-mail titled, “10 Reasons You’re Not Getting Pregnant.” What? You guys think I’m TRYING?

I DO love my kids to death, and I DO want more kids. But maybe not quite yet?

You can ask Dee though, I’m already catching baby fever here and there! I say stuff like, “Babe, if we just have 6 kids, how close do we want the next baby to be to Zach? Not too far apart in age, right? I mean, they need to be pretty close to be playmates.” Yeah, when I say stuff like that, Dee reminds me that Zach isn’t even a year old yet. So we have time…

He’s good for me, that man.

He sets boundaries. He knows I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to kids! I’d have a million of them, but then get stressed out and be “Yelly Mom.”

True story: The other day we were watching a WWII movie, set in Denmark, about the people hiding their Jewish neighbors and helping them escape to Sweden. So, the main mom, right? She’s upset at one point. My Cameron, he says, “Hey mom! That girl, the one with the big head, the yelly one — she looks like you!” Thanks, son. I’m not afraid to fish for compliments, so I asked, “Does that mean you think I’m pretty?” (Movie-mom had blond hair.) He half-snorted. “NO!” My other kids were all quick to chime in unison, “We think you’re pretty, Mommy!”

Sometimes their honesty melts your heart, and sometimes it hits you like a ton of bricks.

I’m almost positive Cameron was comparing me to movie-mom because of the blond hair and european cheekbones, not because of the yelling. But it still pricked my heart!

A mom at church said something that keeps reminding me of the right heart-tone towards children. We were in the nursing-moms room, talking about large families, and I mentioned how I easily get impatient. She said, she too, gets frazzled in a crowd (8 kids). She told me about the other day, when her kids went upstairs to watch a movie. One little guy wandered back downstairs to spend time with Mommy. She told me, with her hand over her heart and a happy sigh, “I just love that!”

She treasures those one-on-one moments.

If I’m gonna be honest here, I have to say that I sometimes grump about kids constantly trailing me, begging for Mommy time.

So I’m working on that! “Me-time” is hugely over-rated. I’m pretty sure that even though Jesus withdrew to be alone at times, He would never have scowled at a child that found His resting place. He would have delighted in that child.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, and my goal is to treat my 5 beautiful children like the precious treasures that they are! I will seek to bless them as they have blessed me. I can’t even imagine not being a mother!