My husband went back to work today. I have to admit, I’ve been feeling a little panicked about this day! (Me, alone, with six kids…) He took the whole week off of work last week, just to spend time with us and help me out with kids and household stuff.
He’s been reminding me of Jesus. Because, honestly, all week I’ve felt kind of guilty that he “wasted” a whole week of his vacation time on me! Extravagant love. I told him this last night, about the guilty feeling, and thanked him for giving me a whole week of his time. He said, “No, nothing I ever do for you is ever wasted.” He called it a wise investment, this week with me.
Love can leave you feeling vulnerable, because sometimes you can’t repay. Sometimes you have to accept extravagant giving, and realize that in the heart of the giver, you are worth every single moment or penny.
And it can make you fall hard in love all over again.
I watched him sweep and mop the floor this week, just because he loves me. He rocked my newest baby, and my bigger babies, and took care of kissing the boo-boos this week, and made pot after pot of coffee, did laundry, re-filled the soap dishes, changed diapers, bought us ice cream, took us to the park, drove us to a tea party and time with friends 2 hours away, built a tee-pee and slept in it with the boys, rubbed my back, organized the basement and the shoes, went down the slip and slide with the kids, chased away bad dreams, switched out bed sheets, put my bedroom and bathroom back together after painting, built a campfire and roasted hot dogs… and if I could be cheesy for a minute? My heart caught on fire too.
I kept thinking, “He has nothing better to do?” and it was true. He chose that he had nothing better to do than lavish his time and energy on all of us, his family.
He kept saying, “I wish I’d done this with all of our babies… taken a whole week off!” I said no, we were okay. And maybe I wouldn’t have appreciated it back then? I’ve been upset before, that he couldn’t just see that there was hair on the bathroom floor and please vacuum it up because I’m really not supposed to life anything heavier than the baby! I fumed instead of communicated, and took for granted his love.
(Now, I’d like to think I’m better at just letting go some of those messy things. My kitchen floor didn’t get swept for days last week, and the crunch was an inch think by the time he swept it up! It didn’t bother me. My laundry room is a disaster. I kid you not — a disaster! It’s okay though. My bathroom hasn’t been cleaned since before I went to the hospital. That’s OK too. I had company over to see the baby, and they sat at my table where discarded kids’ PJ’s were plopped next to the breakfast dishes. Like my wise husband more than once has said, “What’s important will get done.” I’m breathing in a baby, and her vanishing newborn days, and trying to focus on the other sweet young people in my life.)
I think that love, when not taken for granted, and just accepted in all it’s forms, can overwhelm you with its power.
We’ve had a rough year of it, my man and I. Probably the roughest, relationally, since that infamous first year of marriage! But it’s also been the sweetest year of all. The thing is, God’s grace and love shine when we are weak. And because we have God’s heart beating in us, we are stronger and more in love because of our struggles.
Yep! I kind of love this amazing guy. And Mercy, just so you know, in those those arms is one of the best places in the world!