October 21, 2013
Happy 6th Birthday!
So much is on my heart. You fill it up, you know– my heart. You, of all my children, baffle and intrigue me the most! I can’t call you my favorite, because I truly don’t have favorite children, but there is something about you that grabs me. You are special.
You will make a mark on this world.
It terrifies me, because I think, “But what if it’s a black, murky mark?” You are so strong and determined, sometimes I have absolutely no idea what to do with you. Except love you. So I love you fully and completely, and with the wild and peaceful thought that it’s all out of my control. Only God can win you completely over to His side, and implant in you a burning passion to match your strong will to His even stronger one. I can’t do that.
I can pray, and I can guide, and I can keep soaking up your kisses. Those kisses you plant on people with no thought as to whether or not they’re wanted. Son, keep giving that love. Follow that voice inside you that tells you to love people.
Follow that path God is showing you even now, that path that may look twisted and rough to me and Dad. It’s your path. For you, I don’t worry that someone will talk you into stepping off your own path to follow theirs. You are a born leader. Talk the whole entire world into following God’s path with you!
You will make a mark on this world.
It thrills me, because I know that as of right now, you desire to make a mark for Jesus. (“Please, Lord God, grow that desire in my son until it’s an all-consuming drive.”) I was with you when you prayed and asked God to be Lord and Savior in your life. This is one of my special bonds with you alone. Daddy prayed that prayer with Kirstyn, and Auntie Anna was with Cory when he prayed, so you are my crowning moment. Following Jesus is THE most important decision you will ever make, and I got to be with you when you made that decision! I have no greater joy, truly. Keep following Jesus. Keep yielding to Him!
Yielding is hard for you. I know. I don’t ever want to break your will, sweet child. Your strong will is your greatest asset as it is your greatest downfall. I will try my hardest to help you use it in wise, appropriate, kind, respectful, amazing ways.
I watched today as you helped your cousin up after knocking her down. It’s a step, Cameron. I see it. I see every single step you take down that path of growth, son, and I am cheering wildly for you! It melted my heart when you assured Megan recently of your protection. She was talking about how some people might be mean to her, and you said, “Oh Megan! Just tell me if someone is mean to you. I can go punch them in the face.”
So. We have to work on execution, but I saw your heart full of kindness. Keep it full of that love, Cam, and you’ll find your path a fulfilling one. God’s Kingdom is all about loving unconditionally. Even when it’s hard. When it hurts. When people aren’t loving you back. I’m sure you will have many days when people don’t understand you, but you keep on loving those people, and you keep on walking your path. I am so proud of you.
I love you, Cameron James!
I smile now, when I think of how fitting your name is! The literal meaning of “Cameron” is “crooked nose.” Man of Distinction. “James” means “supplanter.” Mover of Men. Yes, my wonderful boy, you will make a mark on this world!
Thank you for letting me be a part of your world, and for being a part of mine. I love that you choose to hang out with me in my flowers and trees. You’re my pruning buddy! I’m really hoping you keep it up, because there’s no way on earth I’ll be able to prune all my maple trees and rose bushes when I’m 70 years old. You’ll come help me, right? You won’t have to drive far, since you plan on building out back. Remember that conversation? You told me you’d like to live with me and Daddy forever, and I told you your wife might want her own house. I convinced you that no, you couldn’t just take over somebody else’s house either, so you finally settled on building a house on the back property. If you could get enough sleep at the same time.
You are so delightful. When I take the time to stop and listen to your observations and ideas, you amaze me. You wow me every time! Your thought process is so different from the average kid, and that is something to treasure and encourage, not tear down. Please forgive me if I ever tell you to be normal. That translates into “average kid,” and I want you to be your own unique self!