In my head, I begged them not to make me leave. I entertained thoughts of hiding in the bathroom, up on a toilet seat, until all the librarians had locked up and headed home for the night.
Then I remembered that my 3 month old would need milk, and I don’t have a whole freezer full of pumped breast milk, like my sister-in-law. In fact, I have none. Zero. So I would eventually have to go home and nurse my baby.
I love nursing my baby! Don’t get me wrong. It’s one of my favorite things in the whole wide world! But guys, I’m still so worn out. Exhausted. The baby falls asleep around midnight some nights, and the 2 year old wakes up at 6:30am. (EVERY morning.) Today, I couldn’t even remember if I’d brushed my teeth. I usually forget to brush my teeth until late in the day, but today I couldn’t even remember if I’d remembered yet or not.
So my husband sent me out. I’ve been acting weird and mopey for days, but I always tell him I don’t want to go out, I’ll be fine if I can just get a break. Anyway, what would I do with the baby if I went out? Tonight though, I jumped at the chance when he offered to watch all 6 kids. I needed to get out of the house! I brewed some coffee and headed to the library, even though it was closing 25 minutes after I arrived.
My first outing sans baby! I filled her belly up with milk and handed her off to Daddy. It was NOT hard! Even though she’s sweet and amazing, it was nice to drive down the road without listening to baby sounds, waiting for adorable to turn to urgent. I didn’t have to reach behind me and squeeze Sophie giraffe while trying not to wreck. I drank my coffee instead.
Half my coffee was still in my travel mug when I arrived at the library, so I brought it inside and plopped down in the cozy new reading nook. Well, after I returned books and paid my overdue fine of $4.80 and Kirstyn’s overdue fine of $13.80. Yep — we’re keeping the library in business! Thank US, local friends, for all the new books our library is able to buy for your children.
I sat there, in a cozy reading chair, sipping coffee and reading about Garion and his traveling companions. (For my curious friends, I’m working through the fantasy series The Belgariad by David Eddings. AWESOME books! Probably my favorite literary world since Narnia.) I knew the clock was ticking close to 5:00pm, but when the librarians kept walking by and glancing my way, I knew they were wondering if I’d leave of my own accord or if they’d have to drag my out of the cozy corner. Like I said, I entertained thoughts of spending the entire night with thousands of books, but I did the responsible thing and left the library.
I thought I’d bring my book to a local coffee shop and read some more, but they closed at 5:00pm too. Yeah, small town! I was a pitiful sight, peering inside the warm, softly lighted shop, empty coffee mug in hand. I did, however, refrain myself from pounding on the door and begging somebody to give me the leftover coffee and let me stay for just 15 minutes. You know, because those people had babies to get home to as well.
My babies were probably missing Mommy…
I was starting to miss them…
Isn’t it funny?
I did stop at the Goodwill first, and shop around a bit. After all, why waste the generous goodwill of my husband, and the full belly of a sleeping baby? She didn’t need me yet. Hopefully. I wouldn’t know if my husband was trying to frantically tell my otherwise, since my phone was dead in the bottom of my purse.
I bought, if anyone is wondering, 2 books (never enough), 7 bowls (mine keep breaking), a “Welcome” sign, 1 pair of shoes, and 1 chair. I’ve been looking for an arm chair to put in my dining room, and I found it! You’d think with a whole, entire basement full of couches, we’d hang out down there, but we only sit downstairs for movies. My kids and I end up all trying to squish on the one loveseat in my dining room! It’s the kitchen. The hub of the house. Your kitchen is like this too, right? It doesn’t matter that their bedrooms are huge, the entire basement is finished and full of toys, and there’s acres and acres of outside to play in. All 6 of my kids want to be with Mama.
So I came home. And that 2 year old and my 4 year old had their faces pressed against the glass door, watching for my return. They ran outside in their bare feet (I’ve trained them well!) and climbed up in my lap before I was even out of the car. I think they missed me. The kitchen looks amazing — thanks, Babe! — and the rest of the house still kinda looks like a wreck.
It kinda looks beautiful to me.
(I wonder if all the book characters come alive after dark, like in Night at the Museum? I guess it’s good the books are locked up…)